The Feeling

Have you ever had the feeling that God was about to show you something? That because you couldn't listen to the subtle hints that He was surrounding you with, He had to do something that completely blows your mind? I've had that feeling. I get it often... and the funny thing is is that God always follows through with my feeling.

I quite often know that what I choose to do is wrong yet i continue to do it. Whats worse is that i know that if i don't get the hints soon God is going to slap me across the face real hard so that i do get it. For you see, i always learn best when something bad happens. It's just how i work.
I really don't want to tell the story but I'm going to anyway because i think the point of it is worth sharing.

Today i woke up and really wanted to go somewhere. I did have the car because dad was at school and so i took mums car. Now mums car isn't insured for people under 21. I knew it was wrong but i really wanted to go. I have taken mums car out a lot by myself, even when i didn't have my license! So this time i was waling to mums car and i had the feeling. I knew what i was doing was wrong and i had done it a lot before. I started to think that the only way I was going to stop this thievery was if something bad happened. But for some reason i still did it. I didn't think God would go through with it. I was wrong. On my way home i was hit by another car. Don't worry, i didn't die. It was only a small crash but it still ripped off mums side mirror. There i was, seconds after the accident sitting there stunned. The whole car trip before that i was still thinking about how i shouldn't be doing what i was doing but i didn't listen. So i had to get out and the person and I swapped details and i was freaking out because mums car wasn't insured for me! I came home and tried to fix it but it was beyond what i could repair.

I am sitting at home now writing this waiting from a call from the other driver and wondering what i'm going to tell my parents when they get home. Do i want to tell them? Do i Keep it quiet and hope it blows over? By that i mean try to act as though i had nothing to do with the broken mirror and suggest that someone in passing broke it in a fit of rage. I haven't decided. If i have to pay for anything on the other persons car (which i doubt, but if i do) i will try and keep it from mum and dad. Or do i tell them. Do i face them as soon as they get home and risk a lot of things. Pay for the repair, maybe they will not let me drive for a while, loss of trust... I have that sick feeling. ...The person just called me, they are getting their car checked tomorrow so whatever that means...

So what am i going to do with this? Its kind of affirming in a way actually. I had the feeling... i was supposed to have the feeling... i didn't act on it and God showed me that i need to listen to it. I think thats is a really good thing to take out of it. Also to be more careful on the roads. And to be true to my parents.

So when i get that feeling in the future I'll know what to do. Stop. That will be the hint i will not deny or else i know what will happen.

What a day.