Sad... but FUNNY!

Ok so yesterday was when i had my little accident with mum's uninsured car...all good, i hope you've read that one first. When telling dad it was pretty hard but doable. He didn't say it so bluntly but it was very much an 'I'm not angry, just disappointed' response. Which as we all know cuts deeper than anger! Mum was cool which blew me away! I guess some people can get a break... not me ha! Ok so here's the story.

Dad let me have his car at night because he believed it was better to drive straight away after an accidents to not become timid and scared and all that. Which is smart. So i had organized to take Elise out for dinner because she had finished her year 12 exam today. That was all cool we went and had dinner and it was excellent. Took her back home for 'Heroes' and that was also fun. When it was tie to go i was taking Meagan home. All good. On our way to her house you'll never guess what happened? A dude in a up RX7 came on to my side of the road while i was waiting to turn onto Doncaster Rd. Would have been fine... if he wasn't going like 50 over the speed limit! He tried to pull into the left lane to avoid collision but there was another car there and so, naturally, he smashed right into the front of me. (I used the word 'smashed' instead of 'hit' because it sounds more dramatic. Like you've never done it!!) As soon as it happened i was kinda laughing at the whole thing. Two crashes in one day. As if! Come on! So we swapped details and whatnot and then it was over. Also funny that his car was way more banged up then mine. Hurrah for the Toyota Camry! Stupid loser RX7. Meagan was a bit shaken up but she lived.

And thats my amusing story. Hmm... God taught me something from the first accident but this one confuses me. I'm going to put it down to His twisted sense of humour.

The Feeling

Have you ever had the feeling that God was about to show you something? That because you couldn't listen to the subtle hints that He was surrounding you with, He had to do something that completely blows your mind? I've had that feeling. I get it often... and the funny thing is is that God always follows through with my feeling.

I quite often know that what I choose to do is wrong yet i continue to do it. Whats worse is that i know that if i don't get the hints soon God is going to slap me across the face real hard so that i do get it. For you see, i always learn best when something bad happens. It's just how i work.
I really don't want to tell the story but I'm going to anyway because i think the point of it is worth sharing.

Today i woke up and really wanted to go somewhere. I did have the car because dad was at school and so i took mums car. Now mums car isn't insured for people under 21. I knew it was wrong but i really wanted to go. I have taken mums car out a lot by myself, even when i didn't have my license! So this time i was waling to mums car and i had the feeling. I knew what i was doing was wrong and i had done it a lot before. I started to think that the only way I was going to stop this thievery was if something bad happened. But for some reason i still did it. I didn't think God would go through with it. I was wrong. On my way home i was hit by another car. Don't worry, i didn't die. It was only a small crash but it still ripped off mums side mirror. There i was, seconds after the accident sitting there stunned. The whole car trip before that i was still thinking about how i shouldn't be doing what i was doing but i didn't listen. So i had to get out and the person and I swapped details and i was freaking out because mums car wasn't insured for me! I came home and tried to fix it but it was beyond what i could repair.

I am sitting at home now writing this waiting from a call from the other driver and wondering what i'm going to tell my parents when they get home. Do i want to tell them? Do i Keep it quiet and hope it blows over? By that i mean try to act as though i had nothing to do with the broken mirror and suggest that someone in passing broke it in a fit of rage. I haven't decided. If i have to pay for anything on the other persons car (which i doubt, but if i do) i will try and keep it from mum and dad. Or do i tell them. Do i face them as soon as they get home and risk a lot of things. Pay for the repair, maybe they will not let me drive for a while, loss of trust... I have that sick feeling. ...The person just called me, they are getting their car checked tomorrow so whatever that means...

So what am i going to do with this? Its kind of affirming in a way actually. I had the feeling... i was supposed to have the feeling... i didn't act on it and God showed me that i need to listen to it. I think thats is a really good thing to take out of it. Also to be more careful on the roads. And to be true to my parents.

So when i get that feeling in the future I'll know what to do. Stop. That will be the hint i will not deny or else i know what will happen.

What a day.

'The Screwtape Letters' Chapter 8

I gave this to people at small group once. I feel it is blog-worth...if you can be bothered to read it all. Its a good read, I recommend it. Enjoy.

"The Screwtape Letters" is fiction. But only fiction in the sense that the characters and the dialogue sprang from the imagination of one of the greatest modern Christian writers. Yet in our terrestrial reality the issues confronted in this book play out in our lives every day.

The book contains thirty-one letters from Screwtape to his nephew, Wormwood, who is Screwtape's underling in fiendishness. Screwtape is an upper-level functionary in the complex bureaucracy of the underworld. The "Screwtape Letters" are friendly advice from this elder statesman to a front-line tempter on how to procure the soul of his "patient", a young Christian man just trying to live out his everyday life.

We get the letters only from one side of the correspondence (Screwtape's), yet the story of the meanderings of the Christian "patient's" soul is clearly read between the lines. The letters begin with Wormwood's failure to keep his subject from becoming a Christian. The urbane Screwtape informs him that, although this is an alarming development, his patient is by no means lost to the dark forces of evil.

World War II serves as the backdrop for the Letters. Yet war and strife do not play a significant roll in the work. The book is about more everyday and universal problems. Problems every individual must deal with even today.

Thus, each letter addresses various aspects of the travails of the human soul and how the devil tempts that soul away from goodness and toward evil - not evil on a grand scale, but evil on a petty scale. They show how evil can seep into a Christian's relationships with friends and family, in his views on the church, even in his practice of prayer.

As each letter unfolds, we find the Christian "patient" slipping more and more out of the hands of Wormwood and his temptations. Screwtape's advice to the tempter becomes more firm and yet more subtle. And, by degrees, we come to see the workings of evil in our own hearts. "The Screwtape Letters" is a book that entertains while it instructs. It is a book to be treasured and studied.

‘THE SCREWTAPE LETTERS’ CHAPTER 8

My dear Wormwood,

So you ‘have great hopes that the patient’s religious phase is dying away’, have you? I always though the Training College had gone to pieces since they put old Slubgob at the head of it, and now I’m sure. Has no one ever told you about the law of Undulation?

Humans are amphibians—half spirit and half animal. (The Enemy’s determination to produce such a revolting hybrid was one of the things that determined Our Father to withdraw his support from Him.) As spirits they belong to the eternal world, but as animals they inhabit time. This means that while their spirit can be directed to an eternal object, their bodies, passions, and imaginations are in continual change, for to be in time means to change. Their nearest approach to constancy, therefore, is undulation—the repeated return to a level from which they repeatedly fall back, a series of troughs and peaks. If you had watched your patient carefully you would have seen this undulation in every department of his life—his interest in his work, his affection for his friends, his physical appetites, all go up and down. As long as he lives on earth periods of emotional and bodily richness and liveliness will alternate with periods of numbness and poverty. The dryness and dullness through which your patient is now going are not, as you fondly suppose, your workmanship; they are merely a natural phenomenon which will do us no good unless you make a good use of it.

To decide what the best use of it is, you must ask what use the Enemy wants to make of it, and then do the opposite. Now it may surprise you to learn that in His efforts to get permanent possession of a soul, He relies on the troughs even more that on peaks; some of His special favourites have gone through longer and deeper troughs than anyone else. The reason is this. To use a human is primarily food; our aim is the absorption of its will into ours, the increase of our own area of selfhood at its expense. But the obedience which the Enemy demands of men is quite a different thing. One must face the fact that all the talk about His love for men, and His service being perfect freedom, is not (as one would gladly believe) mere propaganda, but an appalling truth. He really does want to fill the universe with a lot of loathsome little replicas of Himself—creatures whose life, on its miniature scale, will be qualitatively like His own, not because He has absorbed them but because their wills freely conform to His. We want cattle who can finally become food; He wants servants who can finally become sons. We want to suck in, He wants to give out. We are empty and would be filled; He is filled and flows over. Our war aim is a world in which our Father Below has drawn all other beings into himself: the Enemy wants a world full of beings united to Him but still distinct.

And that is where the troughs come in. You must have often wondered why the Enemy does not make more use of His power to be sensibly present to human souls in any degree He chooses and at any moment. But you now see that the Irresistible and the Indisputable are the two weapons which the very nature of His scheme forbids Him to use. Merely to override a human will (as His felt presence in any but the faintest and most mitigated degree would certainly do) would be for Him useless. He cannot ravish. He can only woo. For His ignoble idea is to eat the cake and have it; the creatures are to be one with Him, but yet themselves; merely to cancel them, to assimilate them, will not serve. He is prepared to do a little overriding at the beginning. He will set them off with communications of His presence which, though faint, seem great to them, with emotional sweetness, and easy conquest over temptation. But He never allows this state of affairs to last long. Sooner or later He withdraws, if not in fact, at least from their conscious experience, all those supports and incentives. He leaves the creature to stand up in its own legs—to carry out from the will alone duties which have lost all relish. It is during such trough periods, much more than during the peak periods, that is growing into the sort of creature He wants it to be. Hence the prayers offered in the state of dryness are those which please Him best. We can drag our patients along by continual tempting, because we design them only for the table, and the more their will is interfered with the better. He cannot ‘tempt’ to virtue as we do to vice. He wants them to learn to walk and must therefore take away His hand; and if only the will to walk is really there He is please even with their stumbles. Do not be deceived, Wormwood. Our cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our Enemy’s will, looks round upon the universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys.

But of course the troughs afford opportunities to our side also. Next week I will give you some hints on how to exploit them,

Your affectionate uncle

SCREWTAPE

There is so much in this. We as humans understand things so much better when we have an image in our mind. C. S. Lewis is so good at that. So yeah, love this chapter, love the book but this chapter especially. Hope you got something out of it.

Why I Stood

The other night at church we were looking at Spiritual gifts. I have known of Spiritual gifts for quite a while. I went through a phase where I was fascinated by the idea of them. This idea of having something similar to a superpower but for God kinda. By that statement you can see that I was obviously approaching this aspect of faith maybe from the wrong angle. But I have come to realize a few things now. Some Spiritual gifts are a bit hard to swallow. To me there are more gifts than just what is written in the Bible. I have witnessed it. I believe there are at least 27 gifts. They are:

Prophecy
Service
Teaching
Exhortation
Giving
Leadership
Mercy
Wisdom
Knowledge
Faith
Healing
Miracles
Discerning of Spirits
Tongues
Interpretation
Apostle
Helps
Administration
Evangelist
Pastor
Celibacy
Voluntary Poverty
Martyrdom
Hospitality
Missionary
Intercession
Exorcism

(If you want to know what some of these gifts actually are just ask me)

Some may disagree with a few of these gifts or all of the ones that were not pulled directly from the Bible and that is ok. I have seen many of these gifts played out in front of me and some were quite scary. It is not the point of this blog to talk about gifts I was just using it to lead into something. But first I just want to add that in some Pentecostal churches they say you do not have the Holy Spirit in you until you are able to speak in tongues. Yes every denomination has their right to tradition but I do not agree with this requirement. We are all part of the body and we all have different parts to play and things just wouldn't work if everyone in the body was a hand. Or a foot. or an eyebrow. If we are to be blessed with gifts we should not expect to all get the same. Why would God do that? To me that would seem not to serve Him best. All the different parts working together, that sounds better. But anyway, to my point. There were three areas that we were asked to choose between to put ourselves in.

Community Building
Leadership
Evidences of God's Power

I felt weird being faced with these three choices. I wasn't sure where I fit. Community building I could fit into because unless you're a complete shut-in you interact with your community all the time. From my time studying counseling, 'you cannot not communicate'. So hmm, maybe. Evidence of God's power. Ok, this one I guess most people could fit into as well because everyday God works through us to do things. But wait, what is the word 'evidence' meaning? How could a gift of art be different to a gift of say being a faithful person? I've had to put aside my disagreement with the wording of the group and believe that they were meaning things like being artistic or physically freaky or good with electronics. So yeah I believe I have some talents. I can be creative, I can play sport, I can be funny on rare occasions...not really but please let me dream. Ok so this is a maybe as well. Leadership is self explanatory. You have the ability to guide others in a direction hopefully benefiting them. I really don't know about this one. Then how come the one that I feel the least confident about was the one I chose to stand up for? Why did I choose leadership? It's funny, I couldn't help feeling very conscious of what the other people in the church were feeling seeing me standing there. What do I do in the church? What character traits do I show that screams leadership? I barely know what I'm talking about most of the time. But even though I see very little leadership in me, I stood. That was what my legs chose to kick into gear for. It has left me puzzled.

So I have felt this calling to study Theology. Don't know why but during my trip away my passion for attending ACU disappeared and this new idea burned inside me. What am I wanting to do with my life? For some insane reason, even though I feel I suck at getting my point across, I'm not very good at articulating my words, it scares me witless, I think I can lead if is what God wants me to do. Now I know that sounds weird 'I want to lead', possible me trying to seek some sort of self satisfaction out of it or something, but as I just said, it scares me witless. Every time I have had to do something in front of people I get so nervous. I would really rather not be there! Those of you who have known me for a while will know that every time I get up in front of people it is guaranteed that my voice will crack. Ben C. especially knows this. Ok, so what do I do now? Do I step out in faith and try to do something? Do I even want to? People don't just want to lead, they have a passion for something and it flows out of them and people follow them for that. I could just be really confused or something.

This was a weird blog. But anyway, I am hopefully off to Theological college next year as i said. My passion is there, I love my faith. What do I do with it?

This may be why I stood.

Crying Vs Laughing

I just pulled this off the internet. It has always intrigued me.

As humans we laugh and cry, but seldom do we question how, or why. There are many processes involved in both responses. Cultures around the world allow both crying and laughing as acceptable behaviors. With crying, as well as laughter, the body goes through physical or chemical changes. Crying and laughter are beneficial to us both emotionally and physically. We must have them to function in the world.

Crying is a more complicated process than one would at first imagine. First of all, there are really three different types of tears. Basal tears keep our eyes lubricated constantly. Reflex tears are produced when our eyes get irritated, like with onions or when something gets into our eyes. The third kind of tear is produced when the body reacts emotionally to something. Each type of tear contains different amounts of chemical proteins and hormones. Scientists have discovered that the emotional tears contain higher levels of manganese and the hormone prolactin, and this contributes in a reduction of both of these in the body; thus helping to keep depression away. Many people have found that crying actually calms them after being upset, and this is in part due to the chemicals and hormones that are released in the tears.

How then actually do we cry? The psychic tears (or emotional tears) require an emotional response, or trigger to be activated. This response can be caused by an outside source, either pain or loss of love, etc., or from an inside source (self-realization of one's life and others). When emotions affect us, the nervous system stimulates the cranial nerve, in the brain and this sends signals to the neurotransmitters to the tear glands. Thus, we cry .The largest tear gland, the lacrimal gland produces the tears of emotion and reflex. Many believe that the body, in times of emotional stress, depends on this gland to release excess amounts of chemicals and hormones, returning it to a stable state.

There are many culturally acceptable reasons to cry in society .The first accepted reason to cry is probably death. Grieving includes crying and often times it was believed that if someone did not cry, they would suffer physically because they did not release their pain. Experiences in life and love are other reasons society allows us to cry. Women have been allowed to cry more than men traditionally, but the benefits of crying seem to suggest that men need to cry more. Cultures around the world have crying out of obligation, for show, and for grief and pain. Each culture defines where and when it is acceptable to cry. Cultures, in some parts of the world, sometimes determine the length of crying and mourning. For example, in the Zuni culture, a chief allows the mourners of the dead to cry for four days after which the chief says that the death occurred four years ago, and now the mourning may end.

As well as with crying, laughter is also acceptable culturally for a variety of reasons. Often, just because of where a person lives, something may be funny and make them laugh. It may not be funny anywhere else in the world. Also, their culture and community may dictate what is appropriate to laugh at and what is not. People have often said, "Laughter is the best medicine," and they may not be too far from the truth. When we laugh, the body makes facial gestures and sounds. The body relaxes during laughter. The diaphragm, abdominal, respiratory, facial, leg and back muscles all get a workout. Scientists have found that

laughing one hundred times is equal to a ten-minute workout on a rowing machine, or fifteen minutes on an exercise bike. Laughter helps promote healing in the body by lowering blood pressure and increasing blood flow. When we laugh, the production of T -cells that destroy tumors and viruses increase, and more Gamma interferon (which is a disease fighting protein) is released. Laughter has been found to reduce the amount of stress hormones and help us cope with our lives better. When others laugh, sometimes the laughter can be contagious. Everyone around them starts to laugh. Some people, when stressed or upset, go to a funny movie or a comedy club hoping to laugh all of their negative emotions away.

There is a special name for the physiological study of laughter. It is called Gelotology. Scientists have discovered that within four- tenths of a second of seeing something humorous, an electrical wave moved through the cerebral cortex of the brain. If the wave took a negative charge, there was laughter. Many areas of the brain are involved in making us laugh. The emotional, the intellectual, and the sensory processing parts of our brain all playa role in stimulating the motor sections of our brain to physically make us laugh.

Researchers have found that laughter is used in making and strengthening our connections with each other. People that are more dominant, like a boss or head of a family, for example, use more humor than others around them. Laughter becomes away to show power over the emotional climate of the group. When someone is embarrassed or threatened, laughter can defuse the situation by deflecting the anger and accepting humiliation.

We need both laughter and tears to help us function in society. Crying relieves stress, reduces hormone and chemical levels in the body, and helps us return to a calm state. Laughter relieves stress, stimulates healing, exercises certain parts of the body, and helps in human bonding. That is why crying and laughing are beneficial to us both emotionally and physically.

Woohoo Pain!

Where do i go when something hurts? Where do you go when something hurts? I find myself thinking about the places i feel would make me feel better if, heaven forbid, something sucky happened. Honestly, i can't answer. I could probably steer other people in the right direction but when it comes to myself i have no idea. Does everyone have the same place of healing? What is healing really? Can you think of it as a physical thing like a real wound that only needs time to be ok? But is it then left weaker forever like a scar?

I think back over times in my life when i have been in pain and wonder what has happened since then to make it not kill me as much as it did then. How can something that meant so much to me at a time mean so little now?

Because it is a mental pain, healing may only come with the death of memories, for it is memories that keep the pain alive. Wow, that sucks! these pains are usually things that we're never going to forget though...

I know in reading this everyone is going to think of something painful for them to try and think of there own reason why...sorry for encouraging the dragging up of old junk.

In everything i hear from people...well mostly movies is that things need to be faced. Who the hell knows what to do when they face the thing that makes them crumble? Are we just supposed to have faith that if we put ourselves out there that by faith some magic kind of healing will take place? Hmm.

Imagine you are the most unlucky person on earth and every week something new goes wrong physically with you. one week you break a bone, another week an organ fails and so on. Now all these thinks get better(granted its not something that will kill you straight away if it fails...stay with me here) but you will be left eventually with all these things not working at their best, some ok might be better by fluke but the majority will not be as good as they once were. All these things will add up, and to be expected with all this injury, you die. Even though things have been given time to 'heal'. Not to sound depressing but is that what we are like? will one day all of our past injuries just lead us to give up?

If you have realized by this blog i have given no answers. Because i have no clue myself. And even if i did, i don't think any readers would feel the same way. We all have very different ways of dealing with pain and i say 'dealing' not 'healing'.

One thing rings true though:

Pain shared is pain halved
Joy shared is joy doubled...

...until you're alone again. Why does contact with people help?

College Life

For the past three days i have been staying at Wittenberg College in Springfield, Ohio. A friend that i met whilst at camp Burton attends this college and so i decided to visit her(she offered of course, i didn't just say 'can i visit?') Her Name is Halley and she is such a great girl. More about Halley will be explained in a later blog devoted to her. Anyway, American college students are crazy! I am staying in the freshmen (first years) dorm and these kids are all experiencing this new part of their life at the same time and the are going mental. To elaborate, There are male, female and co-ed floors all in the one building. This enables the moving from one room to the other with no trouble at all. So, quite a lot of action goes on, if you know what i mean. But also underage drinking is such an issue here. These kids are all 18 pretty much and if you know, the legal drinking age in America is 21. So, everything that goes on is quite illegal. Also this adds the the promiscuity of the students. There is also the problem of drugs. And guess what? Everyone loves it here! I understand that i was just brought up differently and different things make me happy but there is something very wrong with this place. I believe that i am judging now so i will stop, just thought you all might like to know that area of college life first. So i have been moving around staying in different guy-friends of Halley's rooms for the past couple of nights. Which has been cool getting to know people. Today being Monday, Halley had classes and so i was left alone for the better part of the day. I got to hang out in her room and read my bible and watch a movie and sleep. Lots of sleep. For you see, students don't go to bed here until the early hours of the morning. Last night everyone went to bed at about 3am. And had class at 9. Insane. But funny to see them all wake up and say 'i'll never do that again' but then doing it the next night! funny. So yeah, i got to read a lot of bible and i also forced myself to have a soaking prayer session because i hadn't had one in a long time. It was so good. I felt so refreshed and closer to God when i finished. I gave Him my request and more importantly i thanked Him for everything that has happened while i have been over here in America. You should go soak...right now!...wait, read the rest of my blog then go. Cool.

One other thing i think i should add here is that male American teens are HUGE! The boys here are all so big and buff...i feel so little. Ha! Not. Just a bit of a shock.

So i leave here tomorrow for Michigan where i will be visiting Mars Hill Bible Church throughout the week. I believe this is where God has been calling me to go. The pastor at this church is a man named Rob Bell. I have known of him for a few years because he speaks in a DVD series called 'NOOMA'. He has also written a few books which i recommend. I have wanted very much to see him preach and this church he is at is one of the fastest growing churches in American history! So i'm pretty exited about going. I have been trying to find out if there is anything for me to attend during the week before Sunday. There should be but if there's not i will be spending a lot of time wandering around Michigan until Sunday. It'll be good though. I met a man named David through the parents of another friend that i met while on the camp who lives in Michigan. Before i met him i was not going to be going to Michigan because i didn't have the money to stay anywhere. So God introduced me to David and David offered me a place to stay if i ever did choose to go to Michigan. ( by the way, this guy lives about 15 kilometres away from the church. How cool is that!) So i am going. God is good. I will be there for about 5 days then i will be returning back to Seattle by bus(which is really not a cool way to travel!) and hopefully i will get to climb this dormant volcano with a friend and then leave to come home!

So that is what my life has been like. College is insane, trip is coming to an end and God is good.

This is....

If you haven't already seen them, there are these pictures on the internet now that are playing on the movie '300'. Now, this is an awesome movie that if you haven't seen it you need to cos' its awesome. If you go to Google images and type in 'this is sparta' you'll get them.
here's one of them.

Fasting

Today i am fasting. This means i am not eating all day. 'Why am i doing this' you ask? Lately along my walk with God i have felt quite distant but still feel i am doing His work. That is all good but i still want to feel Him more. The other night i just sat down and read my bible for a little while there stumbled upon a topic that has plagued my life. Why do we always worry? off the top of your head this may seem like an easy question to answer, but as you search deeper, its not. I spent the next 6 hours in prayer and study and wanting to write a blog about it but realised that it was too long, so in the near future i will be writing a blog series on the issue and at a later date attempting to write a book. Coolies. But what does this have to do with me fasting? well, in that time i was really hungry and i just spent time with God to sustain me and it was awesome. It may seem a little weird to you but to me it makes perfect sense to me because i was there. Today i will be spending the times that i would regularly be eating in prayer. I will attempt to fill myself up spiritually rather that physically.

Matthew 4:1-4
Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wildernessd to be tempted by the devil. He fasted forty days and forty nights, and afterwards he was famished. The tempter came and said to him, "if you are the some of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread." But he answered. "It is written,
'One does not live by bread
alone,
but by every word that comes
from the mouth of God.'"

That '70s Sow

I am totally missing this show disgustingly too much! I miss them all. Eric, Donna, Kelso, Jackie, Hyde, Fez(yay Jono!), Red, Kitty, Leo, Bob, Midge, Pastor Dave, Crazy Caroline, Eric's hot cousin and all the other lovable chillins characters.

I'm obsessed what can i say!

Just thought that was blog wrothy....cos' That '70s is awesome!

"ok, who stole my last box of sugar babies?''(taken from season 2 episode 7 - Halloween - its cool because now i know what sugar babies are!!!

No One Will Check This......sad face.

Wow, it has been so long sinse i last blogged. I'm guessing that no one will check to see if i have put something new down because i never do. i suck. no! Never! But anyway, I feel i should say a little about what i've been up to....but i dont really feel like it. So where does this leave me? Ok what i really feel like doing is writing down a discussion i'm about to have with myself about where my faith is at and what it has been doing the past two wonths whilst away. Kind of odd. Here we go.

...this is a lot harder to get stared that i thought it would be...

Why haven't i been talking to God? I spend so much time talking to people and listening to people about prayer but when i really think about it, i hardly pray (or at least i have hardly been praying over the past month). Wait, that is only a half truth, i have been praying to God a lot, bringing things before Him and asking for guidence, as well as saying Grace before all my meals, but the thing which i used to be able to do was to just lie somewhere and talk to God about anything. Anything that was on my mind. I haven't felt that friend-connection with God for a while. Why is this i wonder? Have i been too busy? Possibly, but I have had free time. Am i losing faith? I don't think so. Many things that have happened lately have only affirmed what i believe(I shall blog about these more when i get a chance to. That may be after i get home though so sorry). Am i feeling less worthy before God?...My brain pauses on this question it asks itself. This could be it... ...I will return to this. Lately I have been feeling rather content with where i'm at. True, that does sound contradictory to what i've just been writing, but i think it fits in. This trip has been an incredibly happy time for me even though a lot of not-so-happy things have happened(again, i will elaborate in future blogs). Maybe because things have been good for so long that i thought i was finding contentment. But with the thought of leaving.... things have become a little bit more clear(By the way, being content is a very big thing to me, something that i think about a lot....almost too much. Like to the point where i wont be able to find it because i'm searching for something too hard. Cool, got that out.) But anyway, back to what my point of this is, in thinking I was content, I believe I have stopped striving to be with God more. 'Trying to evaluate what my brain has just made me type' - Not trying to say that being content in life is bad because it stops me from connecting with God, more that I had this false idea of what contentment was. Why am I feeling crumby right now? While my Earthly life is going good, my Spiritual life lacks attention and is calling for it.

Cool! Thanks guys! This really helped. I will try and get back to you soon as what is going on. As you can see, i'm a little confused. Hehe.

Just so you know though, I am learning a lot of really good things over here. The people are lovely(at least in this part of America) and i'm physically doing well. Don't let this blog make you think i'm in the poo.

Love you all.

Marya + Chris + Chelsey

In Response to Marya's blog

Sorry for the swearing.
I honestly hope I did not offend any of you.

=]

love, the sexy stallion ;)

What Chelsey Thinks of Chris

Well, Marya is planning ahead a bit. We've only known Chris for a short bit, but we'll see if her plan works out. Although she did describe his charming qualities quite accurately...I do enjoy the accent quite a bit. I must admit that I enjoy all of the Aussie terminology, not to mention the curly Justin Timberlake hair.

I work with him in the kitchen, actually, I'm his supervisor, to be more specific. Basically I control him, and I make fun of him quite a lot, and he is quite good-humored about it. However, i get my fair share from him as well. For example, I sliced the side of my finger off the other day, and instead of being sympathetic, he laughed when I had to get 5 stiches. Other than that he has been quite the gentlemen.

On a scale from pansies to snap dragons, I would rate him a sunflower. You all will be lucky if you ever get him back...because we want so badly to keep him.

-Chelsey

What Marya thinks of Chris.

Chris

hmm where to begin. I haven't known him for very long, but i'm already madly in love with him. We've decided to elope and have already named our children. I love his curly, Justin Timberlake like hair and I seriously enjoy his laughter and sense of humor. I'm a little jealous of Andy because he gets to sleep in the same house as Chris, but I will get over it.

Chelsey, my really good friend, is also going to be eloping with us - we will be the THUPER (super with a lisp) THREESOME and we will be in love until our dying days.

What we love most about Chris is his charming accent, his good manners, and how he calls himself Studly - which we do agree that he is a stud. Chris, is in fact, a stud muffin.

We are watching Pretty Woman and Chris is avoiding the naked women - as a polite gesture. I guess I really wish all boys in America were like Chris, or maybe just Australian boys. Who knows, maybe all Aussie (pronounced OZZIE) boys are this nice, I hope so.

Anyways, the reason i am posting this blog on his blog is simply to explain to all you Aussie people what you're gonna miss now that Chels and I have taken over Chris. So, go cry in a corner and i'll go back to hanging out with him....BITCHES.

Work

OK, so i have spent the majority of this week working in the kitchen at Camp Burton. What to say... its fun in the sense that i get to hang out with a bunch of the people that i have gotten to know overe the past 2 weeks, but kinda dodgey because i have to wash countless dishes.

I have moved out of Randolph's house and now live on the camp property. So, i get to live with a few of the people that i work with. This also is cool. I have a roomey called Chris also, a guy Andy and a girl Jennifer. They are all top people. i will tell you all about them in detail in due time.

I've also met these two girls named Chelsey and Marya. They are just the coolest people everrrr. I love them so much and i basically cannot live without them. I hate to inform all of you, but i have decided to never return to Australia, and will instead be living with them forever. BYE.
(i didn't write that, they did. I'm at their house. its the only place i can do blogging. yeah...)
(Marya wrote it, she's so cool).....
My women are calling, so i must go.

DMD

I have just spent the last week on a DMD camp. DMD stands for Develop-mentally Disabled. I had no idea what to expect going into the camp and so i was quite anxious about the whole thing. We had training for a day where i got to know the other leaders on the camp. There were only 12 of us uncluding the main directors. It was a small camp. Anyway, Sunday came and it was time for the campers to arrive. Over the following 24 hours i realised how beautiful these people were. To try and explain their disabilities i'll say that even though most of them were in their 20's, it was as if they were preps. They could not comprehend so many things and that got frustrating at times, but i learned to cope. There were quite a few campers with down syndrom and also people who had been in accidents resulting in brain injury. We spent the week doing little activities and studied some bible, talking about 'heroes' focusing on both male and female heroes in the bible, eg. Esther, David and Peter. This was good, especially when a lot of them were able to recite bible passages. so cool. We played games with them and took them swimming. These guys required constant attention. That was so draining. They needed help with most things. Some things i refused to help them with if they asked me because it was just wrong. Ahh, good times. good memories....which will be forever burned into my brain. yay. But with all the activities we did we were pretty loose because when you're dealing with this kind of camp things always seem to be changing.

So what were some of the things that happened to me over the week. Well, i'll say that i have grown immencly in patience and tollerance and had a little more insight into what 'love' is. You could never just tell these guys once to do something, you had to tell them over and over again. Which was hard at first because i wasn't used to it, of course. Then there were the trouble makers. These were the people who could not comprehend certain things. This too was frustrating at the beginning but i began to tollerate it. There was more in that though. In seeing how some of the campers just had no idea what they were doing and really didn't understand what you were trying to say to them, i started to feel really sad and almost sick. They couldn't comprehend what i was saying to them and i couldn't comprehend what it was like for them to live in a world of such restrictions. I know i wouldn't know it if i was in their situation but i cant express how fortunate i really am. I get to have an education, i always get enough food, so much in fact that my struggle is not getting food but keeping it away from me, that i have a family and a group of friends who are absolutly beautiful and do care for me (i hope) and that i have a mind that is not bound by restrictions. I am so fortunate. Does this mean i have no reason to be unhappy?

I think i have a choice in whether i'm content in my life. I want to say yes, but at the same time i know i'm cursed. Should i be content because i have so much? Well its an option i guess. But i am also cursed because of all i have. I must strive to give what i have to those who need it. We've all heard this before, but this week i realised that so many people only need love. for you to be kind to them. They probably wont realise how much of yourself you are giving and that is a good thing, because i helps change you into a truely selfless giver. I think too many times i do good things for people and expect that they ay leased recognise that i have done it. Do i do it for God? Loving people IS loving God.

So thats my little thought for this week.

By the way, i'm really tired. I only got back from this camp today. I need sleep. So if there are things that need more explaining tell me and i will give more detail in comments.

OK, love you all, even if i don't know you, and i pray that you are enjoying your life at the moment.

P.S. One of the other leaders was like and American version of Kirsty. She looked the same and talked that same....with an accent though. Thak kept me amused for the week. Might get a photo up some time and let you decide. ok bubbye.

My First Time

Well, seeing as this is my first blog ever i think i should make it special. But i wont. There's not much i can really say for starters. Ok then, i will talk about what I'm going to use this for with up coming events. I am going away to America and felt i needed something to keep in contact with all the people who are special to me back home, thus, the blog was formed. Proudly brought you you by Jono!, this blog will let you know about all the amazing (and lets face it, the not so amazing) parts of my experience in America.

My America trip has been in the making for absolute months. It has been driving me, as well as my family crazy trying to get all the paperwork organized. There are just so many pointless form that are needed so these Americans know that I'm not a terrorists! I mean come on, what the hell! 18 year old ex-private school boy from Kew, how much of a terrorist can I be? But still, to get there i must follow the rules. Hate rules. Moving on. We have family friends who run a camp in Seattle called Camp Burton. I don't really know why the camp has that name but i will find out and tell you. But yeah, this guys name is Randolph Farrar. It's a pretty whack name but from talking to him he seems like a very down-to-earth good person (the reason i say that is because i haven't seen him since i was 3 so i cant exactly remember what he was like then or what he looks like for that matter). Ok, so he offered me a job. i though about it and accepted. So now i am doing some stuff with a church and also working as a camp counselor on the camp. I'm not exactly sure what to expect yet. i haven't been told many of the things I'm going to be doing. Ok, I've been told roughly what I'll be doing, such as, running so called 'Faith Building' exercise, little retreats into the wilderness, games and a lot of other fun thing that you would expect from a camp. That about sums it up for now.

So you've stuck with me this far i guess, might be time to do something fun. How about a riddle?

A dozen Royals gathered round,
Entertained by two who clowned.
Each King there had servants ten,
Though none of them were also men.
The lowest servant sometimes might,
Defeat the King in a fair fight.
A weapon stout, a priceless jewel,
The beat of life, a farmer's tool.

What are we talking about here folks?

Hit me back if you think you know the answer. For some, it may be very easy and very clear, but for those of you like me, it'll take you ages until someone finally tells you what it is. So frustrating!

Once again i would like to thank Jono! for this marvelous blog he has set up for me. I will try not to disappoint in delivering the highest quality of writing.