No One Will Check This......sad face.

Wow, it has been so long sinse i last blogged. I'm guessing that no one will check to see if i have put something new down because i never do. i suck. no! Never! But anyway, I feel i should say a little about what i've been up to....but i dont really feel like it. So where does this leave me? Ok what i really feel like doing is writing down a discussion i'm about to have with myself about where my faith is at and what it has been doing the past two wonths whilst away. Kind of odd. Here we go.

...this is a lot harder to get stared that i thought it would be...

Why haven't i been talking to God? I spend so much time talking to people and listening to people about prayer but when i really think about it, i hardly pray (or at least i have hardly been praying over the past month). Wait, that is only a half truth, i have been praying to God a lot, bringing things before Him and asking for guidence, as well as saying Grace before all my meals, but the thing which i used to be able to do was to just lie somewhere and talk to God about anything. Anything that was on my mind. I haven't felt that friend-connection with God for a while. Why is this i wonder? Have i been too busy? Possibly, but I have had free time. Am i losing faith? I don't think so. Many things that have happened lately have only affirmed what i believe(I shall blog about these more when i get a chance to. That may be after i get home though so sorry). Am i feeling less worthy before God?...My brain pauses on this question it asks itself. This could be it... ...I will return to this. Lately I have been feeling rather content with where i'm at. True, that does sound contradictory to what i've just been writing, but i think it fits in. This trip has been an incredibly happy time for me even though a lot of not-so-happy things have happened(again, i will elaborate in future blogs). Maybe because things have been good for so long that i thought i was finding contentment. But with the thought of leaving.... things have become a little bit more clear(By the way, being content is a very big thing to me, something that i think about a lot....almost too much. Like to the point where i wont be able to find it because i'm searching for something too hard. Cool, got that out.) But anyway, back to what my point of this is, in thinking I was content, I believe I have stopped striving to be with God more. 'Trying to evaluate what my brain has just made me type' - Not trying to say that being content in life is bad because it stops me from connecting with God, more that I had this false idea of what contentment was. Why am I feeling crumby right now? While my Earthly life is going good, my Spiritual life lacks attention and is calling for it.

Cool! Thanks guys! This really helped. I will try and get back to you soon as what is going on. As you can see, i'm a little confused. Hehe.

Just so you know though, I am learning a lot of really good things over here. The people are lovely(at least in this part of America) and i'm physically doing well. Don't let this blog make you think i'm in the poo.

Love you all.